What does it mean to “be a real man” ? There are but one too many answers to this and it all comes down to the same set of stereotypes like – A “ real man” is unemotional or A “real man” is someone who doesn’t show weakness or ask for directions or show any kind of vulnerability. In this blog we unmask the many faces of toxic masculinity and what place these stereotypes have in a man’s life in 2019.
1 ) TAKING IT LIKE A MAN
“Men don’t cry !”
– The father to his son who has fallen off his bicycle . The subjection of unrealistic gender norms start at an early age in the country and are embedded even further in man’s brain as life goes on. Men have always been shunned on showing any sign of any weakness and vulnerability. It starts with the first male role model in their lives and then is carried on by the society for the rest of it. The urgency to unmask this trait of toxic masculinity is utmost in 2019 with the country developing in different areas, the time has come to also develop a tolerance towards boys expressing normal human emotions.
2 ) BIG, TOUGH AND STRONG
Arz kiya hai –
“ Na 16 inch ka dola
Na dhayi kilo ka haath
Just be yourself man
Khatam hogyi baat ”
Bollywood has played a rather huge role in projecting the “Big and Strong” stereotype, resulting in most males growing up to believe violence being the best resort to handle situations and also the best way to a girl’s heart. The need to act tough even when scared or nervous has been instilled in all men since childhood and for those who aren’t are bullied for most parts of their lives. Well BREAKING NEWS !!
“I fell in love with him because of his upper cut punch”
- Said No Girl Ever.
3 ) NEVER LET THE LADY PAY THE BILL
A “ real man” is a financial provider and never lets a lady pay the bill. The stereotype not only forces the idea of men having to pay up every time they take a woman out but also that women are incapable of paying for themselves. The thin line between being chivalrous and having to pay because you ought to, is just that. In today’s DNA, when both the genders are enjoying financial independence, it’s time to ask ourselves if such norms hold any importance whatsoever in the modern relationship.
4 ) HOUSEHOLD CHORES
“Ladke ghar ke kaam nhi karte, yeh ladkiyon ke kaam hai”
Men being the heads in most families aren’t taught to help out the females of the household with the supposed “Ghar ke kaam” and we’re raised believing that it’s a woman’s job to take care and clean up after the man. It’s about time to break the gender stereotype and teach boys to help out at home.
5 ) HYPERSEXUALITY
Indian culture in terms of discussion about sex is very different for both the genders; where women are taught to wait until after marriage, men are supposedly to have or thought of to have many sexual partners. Afterall, a “real man” never says no to sex. The peer pressure faced by most teenage boys in our society is real and often leads to emotional distress.
Even with such stereotypes existing, the good news is recent studies show 70% of the male population now don’t agree with these sentiments. This is a heartening indicator of shifting attitudes amongst young men.
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